Apparently I’m still on the topic of birthday parties 
Of course, now that school has started, the birthday party invitations have been pouring in. I will never forget the October of 2005 . . . my son was invited to 9 birthday parties in that single month! We went to 4 of them. So far this year, my son has only gotten one, which he declined. He didn’t want to go. I was surprised, but I certainly wasn’t going to force him to go (he’s a partier and has never turned down an invitation before!). My daughter got two last week. The first one was for Girl A, and the typical parental interrogation ensued…
Me: Hey, who is Girl A? Do you play with her?
K: No. She’s a not very nice girl. She hits and pulls hair and pushes. I don’t play with her or sit by her at lunch. But Teacher makes me lay by her for resting time.
Me: I think we’ll decline the invitation to her birthday party, then.
K: Noooo - I really want to go to the party!
I went on to explain that there would be other parties, and besides, she has a soccer game at 12:30 that day - right in the middle of the 11:00-1:30 party. We of course had the “you wanted to play soccer and you made a commitment to the team and you can’t just not show up - and besides, I’m coaching and I certainly can’t just not decide to show up” talk. She was actually OK with it and said she really did not want to miss soccer for Girl A’s party anyway since she’s not very nice. So, I tried to respond for Girl A’s party, but the e-mail address provided was invalid (I tried 3 different days) and the phone number was “inconclusive” - meaning, I was not sure of the numbers that were written, and the message on the answering machine gave no indication that I had actually reached the correct house. I ended up writing a note of decline on the back of the invitation and putting it back in Girl A’s folder at school. Hopefully she got it.
The next day arrives and yet another invitation is in Keira’s folder. She hands it to me and says, without prompting . . . “I like Girl B. We play all the time. She is very nice. I sit by her at lunch. I want to go to her party.”
HA! Fast learner that one is I have actually heard about Girl B before and knew that Keira actually did like her and play with her. So, we are going to Girl B’s birthday party.
But, I have many questions about kids’ birthday parties . . .
When your children have parties, do you typically invite the whole class, or let your children choose who to invite? I’ve always been against the whole class thing for many reasons. First, my kids don’t play with everyone, and not every other kid plays with everyone. Kids at any age have friends and they know who those friends are. Second, no kid needs 20 kids at a party - and no kid needs that many gifts - and no kids’ parent needs to pay that much for a party. My kids are typically allowed to invite their age . . . and they are not allowed to talk about their party at school since they do not invite the whole class.
Do you have your kids’ parties at home or at a birthday party factory? We’ve done both, and they seem to end up costing about the same amount of money depending on what you choose. Main difference is that when you go somewhere, less clean up
Do you invite your child’s friends’ siblings to the party? We always invite the siblings. We’ve got two kids and it really is tough to take one and not the other when one parent is gone. I have no problem with telling my kids the party is not for them, it’s for their sibling to attend, but I refuse to pay a sitter to watch child #2 while I take child #1 to a birthday party if hubby is gone. And besides, it just so happens that our kids are friends with the “main” friend and the siblings as well, so they usually end up inviting the siblings as part of their list anyway.
Do you let your child go to every party they’re invited to?
Finally, how much do you typically spend on gifts for kids’ birthday parties?
I’ve talked to lots of parents who believe kids’ birthday parties have gotten out of hand (one girl in the 1st grade last year actually had a limo pick up the guests and take them to the bead store for the party! sheesh!). I totally agree. What happened to inviting a few of your child’s closest friends over to play for a few hours and eat cake? I must admit that I love birthdays and parties and do throw birthday parties for my kids, but I do have a limit, both in money and energy spent I really am looking forward to the day when my kids get to choose 3 friends for a sleepover for their birthday . . . and thankfully those days are close!
I sure would have bet Sam was a Samantha; Taylor was, well, Taylor but with girl parts; and Alex was an Alexandria. Rylie I knew was a girl because Keira talks about her all . . . the . . . time. Lane - that would have been my guess for a boy given the list.
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