Common Mom

I gave up sugar for Lent - not ALL sugar, just “frivelous” sugar as I like to call it. I stay away from anything that has sugar as one of the first 3 ingredients - like the obvious stuff, but also including things like Cheerios, bread, etc. This is usually my breakfast on Easter morning :-) 

However, this year, I had a much more nutritious breakfast because we went snowboarding, and I figured I needed something better than this if I was going to hurl myself down a mountain with a board strapped to my feet all day.

So, it’s Monday morning, one full day after I COULD have had this, and I still haven’t. Lookout Monday - sugar rush, sugar high, and sugar down coming to a cubicle near you!

It’s me, opening the last bottle of Cherry Coke I’ll have until Easter.

I’m giving up sugar for Lent . . . well “frivelous” sugar as I call it . . . no cake, cookies, candy, pop, ice cream, syrup, jelly . . . you get the idea. This is especially tough since Valentines day is right around the corner, and there is ALWAYS chocolate around. And those darn Girl Scouts are coming to the door pawning dime bags of Thin Mints, which make the BEST shakes.

So, I’m going to sit back, relax, and enjoy my last Cherry Coke, and then try to work off the ridiculous number of calories I will consume while thoroughly enjoying said bottle of Cherry Coke.

I do not like New Year’s Resolutions. I never make them. I figure, if I’m going to do something, why not start now instead of wait until that magic date on the calendar? But then I read a blog entry by Chris at Notes From The Trenches. Her family is saying goodbye to spending this year. I thought that sounded like a great idea! I mean, of course we need some things . . . food for one . . . but Target is one place where I can’t just buy what’s on my list! No sirreeeee - because they ALWAYS have a clearance rack, and we all know that you can’t leave a store without checking out the clearance rack. So, I’ve decided to try it out - no impulse spending - no buying a pair of shoes because they’re cute and on sale if the peoples already have a gazillion pair of shoes that fit. No more buying a cute shirt off the clearance rack if the peoples already have 847 long sleeved shirts. I will, however, draw the line at not buying ridiculously cheap things on sale that will fit next year. I’ve also decided to keep a spreadsheet of how much I save . . . I figure that’ll add fuel to the fire when I tell Hubby I’m actually really ready to get rid of the car and get something with 4-wheel drive so I can actually make it up the hill to our house in the winter up here in the snowbelt

Anywho, this first month has gone swimmingly! I’m quite surprised at how this little resolution has really influenced my shopping. So far, this is what we saved in January:

Blokus - We bought this game because we’ve heard it is so much fun. But it was $30! And we have a gazillion games. So, we returned it and figured we could buy it when the kids get older and we need new games. Add $30 to the saved list!

Pictures - Because I’m an organization freak, at the end of each month I go through the photos I’ve downloaded from my camera and order prints of the ones I want to put in our scrapbooks. I’m quite impatient, and when I decide I want something, I want it now, which means I usually go for the 1-hour photo option at Walmart.com. With our wonderful trip to MN in December, I ordered a ridiculous number of photos. I had them all uploaded and ready to print and then I stopped to get realistic - there is no way I’m going to scrapbook ANY of these photos any time before next fall, let alone in the next couple of hours! So I opted for the 5-7 -day home delivery option. The price tag for the photos was still a whopping $114.97. BUT, by stepping back and thinking about it, I saved $44.50! Dang! Add $44.50 to the saved list.

Calendar Paper - Each year the kids and I make 3 scrapbook calendars; 1 for each set of grandparents. It’s their Christmas gift from Jason and Keira. I buy the supplies in January so I can make them throughout the year - much less stressful. A few weeks ago I headed to Archiver’s and bought the 3 calendars. I also usually buy the Calendar Paper Pack - it’s just an easy way to make the calendars look nice. I got to the checkout and realized that I had 2 30% off coupons. One expired that day, and the other wasn’t valid until the next day. Soooooo, I passed on the paper and went back a week later when I could use the 30% off coupon. The 2007 Me would have bought it that day because I didn’t want to go back. But the 2008 Me figured I’d grace the BW3 next door with my presence for lunch some day in the next week or so, so I could wait. I saved a whoppin’ $2.50. Add $2.50 to the saved list!

Step Stool - I LOVE Bed Bath and Beyond. I went there to get a new blender because mine broke - again. I bought an awesome one that was on sale, had an additional $20 rebate, and used my 20% off coupon. I didn’t add any of that to the list, but what I DID add to the list was a step stool. The kids have been great at helping with the dishes, but they need a stool to reach the counter and sink. I figured I’d buy them a little step stool to keep in the kitchen. Then I decided better of it when I realized they’ve been using the chairs just fine up until now; we do not NEED a step stool. So I put it back. Add $10 to the saved list!

TV - I may be stretching it a bit with this one, but I figured it deserved a place on the list. The TV in our room quit working last week. How annoying! We don’t watch a lot of TV, but we do watch 24 on DVD and the News. Now we couldn’t do either in our room! The 2007 Me would have insisted that we go out that day and replace the TV/DVD player in our room. BUT, the 2008 Me said this instead . . . Let’s just take the TV out of the guest bedroom. The TV in there is hardly ever used. If our guests want to watch TV, they can watch in the family room just down the hall. AND, if WE want to watch 24, we can use the TV and DVD player in the family room as well. So we took the smaller, older TV from the guest bedroom and put it in our room. Add $350 to the saved list!

So, the grand total savings for the month of January: $437.00!

Well on my way to saving enough for a new vehicle if you ask me

I did my first stint as a volunteer parent in my son’s 2nd grade classroom today. I don’t get to do it often since I’m a working mommy, but on the days I can, I’ll gladly do it. Anyway, I got to go in from 9:00-10:00 and help the kids with English stuff . . . right up my alley being the technical writer that I am It was fun to see all the kids and meet them so I can put faces with names I hear from Jason . . . it was interesting to see the wide range of levels of knowledge . . . does that make sense? All the kids were very polite and fun and worked hard. I must say that this is a very ACTIVE class . . . lots of boys and lots of personality. God Bless Mr. Krich and every other teacher out there because I don’t know how you do it all day every day! THANK YOU!

We are soooo pleased with Jason’s teacher. We really wanted him to have a male teacher and were lucky when that happened his first year in public school. Mr. Krich is awesome - he makes the classroom so much fun for the kids . . . they don’t even know that they’re learning! For example, they have a VIP jar. Mr. Krich filled this jar with marbles the first week of school. All the kids got to guess how many marbles were in the jar. On Friday, the one who got the closest won the contents of the jar and is the VIP the next week. That next Monday the VIP brings in the jar filled with “something” and the guessing starts again. The kids love it and really look forward to the guessing and finding out who is the VIP for the week! Of course there are lots of jobs in the classroom for everyone to do as well.

Another fun thing is the tooth contest. There are 2 huge mouths, void of teeth, on the front wall under the whiteboard - one for the girls and one for the boys. Each time a child loses a tooth, Mr. Krich gives them a paper tooth to write their name on and they put it in the mouth and will see who lost the most teeth at the end of the school year.

Another fun thing is the nacho party they are having on the 10th. For each timed math test they pass (0/1, 2/3, 4/5, 6/7, 8/9, 10/11, 12/13, 14/15) each child earns part of the nachos. They each have a blank piece of paper on the wall and get to paste their next ingredient on the paper . . . plate, napkin, chips, beans, cheese, sour cream, black olives, salsa. Now that each child has passed all the timed tests (2.5 minutes to complete 30 problems for each set) they get to have a nacho party. They’re doing the same thing for subtraction with ice cream sundaes - what a great idea!

Last Friday Jason told us about something “new” that Mr. Krich did - he called it a Desk Dump. Mr. Krich expects the children to help keep their classroom clean and neat and also expects the kids to keep their desks organized. So on Friday he had a surprise desk inspection. He looked in each child’s desk and if it wasn’t organized he dumped it on the floor and they had to organize it. Jason was proud that his desk was the most organized and didn’t get dumped - I told him surely this couldn’t be true because I SEE HIS BEDROOM every single day He was also a little disappointed that his desk didn’t get dumped because he thought that looked like fun, too. Hey - maybe I need to find a new name for cleaning up toys . . . like Toy Box Boogie . . . turn on some tunes and tell them to boogie while they pick up their toys

I must say that one of my favorite things I witnessed today was how Mr. Krich gets the kids’ attention. Rather than yelling for the kids to quiet down or ringing a bell or something, he gets out his duck call - which being from a midwest hunting family I thought was great! When it’s time to change work stations, he gives a “quuuuuuaaaaAAAACCCKKKKK” with the duck call. Every one of the kids, without missing a beat, says in unison “yyyeeeeeEEESSSS?” At that point they’re all quiet and he gives them direction. I LOVED IT!

So, I’m actually looking forward to my next volunteer hour in the classroom. The hubby gets to go in on Thursday morning this week. It’ll be fun for him to see all the kids, too!

What fun things do your kids’ teachers do or do you remember that YOUR teachers did?

I was reading an article on Baby Center about 12 discipline tactics that really work. Imagine my happiness when I saw the one that said we shouldn’t be afraid to disappoint our kids. How true is that! I know so many parents that don’t want their children to ever feel sad or disappointed, so they go out of their way to make sure that their kids always win, always get what they want, never have to feel bad when they make a bad choice and lost a privilege - suddenly, the privilege is no longer lost because they don’t want their child to feel left out.

I can’t imagine letting my kids grow up without ever feeling disappointed . . . it’s part of life - life is not fair; you do not get everything you want; you don’t always win; you don’t get an “oh that’s OK” every time you make a bad choice - some bad choices just really are not OK. And if we as parents don’t allow our kids to feel that disappointment every now and then, how can we ever help teach them how to deal with it and move on? There is disappointment around every corner, along with all the good and fun things in our lives. Everybody needs to learn how to deal with disappointment and find the good things in our lives. We’re continuously raising a generation of kids who feel entitled . . . entitled to play the same amount of time as everyone else in a soccer game; entitled to get whatever they want to eat; entitled to get paid for everything they do, including common household chores; entitled to be constantly entertained; entitled to win everything; entitled to be constantly patted on the back for the tiniest accomplishment. You know what the “reward” for being good in the car, at the store, at the playground, is at our house? The reward is that you don’t get grounded - good behavior is expected, not rewarded. No way are my kids perfect, and neither am I - that’s why toy jail exists . . . it’s usually got something in it . . . whether it’s a Gameboy, a baby carriage, or the occasional mimi - yes, I’ve taken away the comfort blanket for an entire day and night when necessary - I know, I’m an awful parent, but it sure makes a mark on the little one’s brain about what is and is not acceptable!

So here’s my little informal poll . . . Do you stick to your punishment, even if it breaks your heart to see your child sitting on the sidelines with tears in her eyes watching everyone else eat cake at a party while she doesn’t get any? Do you always let your child win at games so they won’t feel bad? Do you reward for expected behavior, or punish for bad behavior?

Yesterday I had the pleasure of chaperoning my daughter’s preschool class on a trip to the zoo. The class had earned the trip by making good choices throughout the school year and filling up their jar with buttons. Each chaperone got assigned 4 to 5 kids for the day. I will be the first to admit that my daughter is no angel . . . she is a very loving, sweet, kind, smart little girl . . . but she is also very stubborn, strong-willed, and driven. However, after every event I attend for school, whether it’s attending Muffins with Mom, watching my son’s class read their country reports, or chaperoning a field trip, I’m always so proud of both of my kids. While they act like kids as much as any other 4 and 6 year old, they are courteous to adults and their classmates and they listen to direction (most of the time). Most of the kids on the field trip were very well-behaved, but I’m still always stunned by how much disrespect kids seem to have for any adult, whether it be the zookeeper, the chaperone, the teacher, or even their own parents. Some are quietly direspectful, testing you at every turn, trying to see how far they can push you (not very far with me as they found out). Others are loudly disrespectful, hitting their parents and actually yelling at teachers and sayin “No” to them! I’ve never told my children they can’t say No to adults, because they CAN say No to adults when necessary. However, we’ve also made it very clear that disrespecting their teacher, a chaperone, other parents, and their classmates is totally unacceptable. My daughter can attest to that . . . she lost pretty much every privilege she had the entire month of February for being disrespectful to Ms. Jennifer (her teacher). We made it very clear that was not acceptable, and the problem is solved.

When did we start allowing our children to be so disrespectful of grownups? I know the argument you’re all going to throw out there . . . “there are so many crazy adults out there, my kid shouldn’t have to be respectful to them.” Of course not . . . that’s why you never tell them they can’t say No to an adult - they can and should say no in certain situations. But, on the flip side, being disrespectful to teachers, grandparents, other kids’ parents, your own parents . . . those people that you’ve put your trust in to help your children through life? OMG if I ever thought of disrespecting someone like that I wouldn’t have seen the light of day for months!

Are you teaching your children to hold the door open for others, especially women and the elderly? Are you teaching your children to say Thank You to their soccer coaches, teachers, grandparents, friends’ parents, etc. just for being there and helping your child? Are you teaching your children to offer their seats to the elderly, whether on the bus or waiting for a table at a restaurant? All of this, of course, is better taught by your good example than by simply lecturing to your children that they should do these things.

I guess this is just one of those topics that’s always bugged me since I’ve been spending more and more time around kids after having two of my own. And after what I saw at the zoo yesterday with the gaggles of kids there on field trips, it really struck a chord.

We got our carpets cleaned yesterday - and in the process I noticed how heavy one of the rolly toy thingies was getting - a brief look in to one of the drawers and I realized it was full of junk toys - you know, Happy Meal toys, cheesy toys from the salon/restaurant, etc. Heck, my kids even get suckers from the liquor store (it’s right next to the salon - read on please). I realized it was our new junk drawer, and got to thinking - when did we become a society that believed we had to CONSTANTLY entertain our kids? Or bribe them to behave at dinner/school/church/the grocery store? We do a lot of stuff as a family - hiking, camping, the zoo, playing games, etc. . . . but at the same time, Dan and I are trying really hard to raise our kids so they don’t feel entitled to anything other than our unconditional love and to realize that they are in control of their choices and the consequenses. They have to earn things - good behavior and manners are expected, not rewarded. Bad behavior results in lost privileges.

Case in point - I took my son to get a haircut, and my daughter had to sit quietly while he got his hair cut - or so I thought. After 2 minutes, the lady cutting my sons hair said “Oh sweetie, I bet you’re bored just sitting there. Here, let me put a movie in the TV for you.” WHAT?!? Since WHEN do the kids need to watch TV for 10 minutes at the salon while their brother gets his hair cut? And then after the haircut, Jason got a toy - for getting his hair cut! He sat there for 10 minutes while she buzzed his head and somehow “deserved” a toy as the hair cutter lady said. Then Keira got upset because she couldn’t have a toy . . . I told her that we’d talked about it before we even got there and that only the kids who get their hair cut get a toy. She of course insisted that she immediately needed a hair cut then went in to the whole “but I sat so nicely the WHOLE time that Jason got his hair cut - so I think I deserve a toy, too…” bit. I went on to explain that sitting nicely is expected whether or not you’ve got a reward coming. The reward for behaving is that you’re not grounded when you get home!

Anyway, I was just thinking about the days when kids were allowed to be kids, but were also expected to behave no matter what. And if you didn’t behave - the long arm of the law (i.e. Dad) made a visit. The only time you expected anything was on the rare occasion you got to go to the bank with mom and you ended up with a Dum Dum - and oh boy, what a treat that was!

Do you remember when you were growing up and you were expected to:

• sit at dinner in a restaurant without crayons and a menu that you could color on (mom might have pulled a pen - a red felt one if you were super lucky - and deposit slip out of her purse for you to draw on)?
• entertain yourself on a 30 minute car ride WITHOUT a TV/iPod/GameBoy, all the while having to listen to DAD’s music of choice?
• play outside for an entire Saturday with your friends without any parent moderating or telling you to be careful?
• sit for 30 minutes on Saturday morning waiting to get your hair cut, then sitting for another 15 minutes during the hair cut, without the prospect of a cheesy toy at the end of the torture?

I’m only hoping that our kids enjoy the time the spend with us as well as their time without us. I love watching my kids outside with the neighbor kids, riding bike, playing baseball, pretending they’re dinosaurs - all sans parental involvement. They’ve all got to have time to learn and experience on their own while we guide them through life and it’s tough choices, right? I mean, if we never let our kids learn the tough lessons, how will they be able to make good choices as adults?