I have no idea why two mid-30-something-year olds decided it would be a good idea to take snowboarding lessons, but we did it! We loaded up the Jeep and the kids and headed to the mountains last Wednesday evening to hang out in a hotel before our big day. Keira was beside herself with excitement and just HAD to try on her helmet and goggles in the hotel room - while wearing purple heart footie jammies 
After a completely restless night of sleep in a tiny bed in a tiny hotel room with a loud and very crappy heater, we all got up bright and early Thursday a.m. to get ready, eat breakfast, and head to the slopes. Jason and Keira KILL me! They both HAD to wear their helmets and goggles in the Jeep “for safety” as they said 
It WAS snowing afterall, and you never know what could happen
I must say that Breckenridge has the BEST setup for families. We called them and asked where the best place to park would be, and they led us to a lot right across the street from The Village. We walked right in, dropped, the kids off with their instructors, and were off to our lesson. The weather was BEAUTIFUL! It was cloudy and snowing, but really, what can you expect up in the mountains? Here are Dan and I waiting for our instructor, Matt Peacock to show up
I must say that if you ever head to Breckenridge for snowboarding lessons, definitely request Matt Peacock - he was a ton of fun and an AWESOME teacher. We certainly look ready to go, don’t we? Oh ya - we are TOTALLY bundled up - liners in our jackets, 3 layers of clothing, warm snowpants, awesome gloves, fleece gators, helmets, goggles.
After introductions, and discovering that we were by far the oldest people in class (the closest ones were maybe 21 years old . . . the youngest was 14!) we were off to the mountain! We practiced skating first so we could actually get on the lift. Getting on a 6 person lift your first time on a board is a bit of a challenge . . . but not quite as challenging as getting OFF the lift! You can’t skate off because you’ll run into the person next to you; you can’t fall because, well, there’s another chair full of people right behind you waiting to get off - and besides that, the lifties think it’s quite humorous to see the first-timers bite it We DID get off without incident - woo hoo! And headed over to the slope reserved just for snowboarding lessons. How fun! There’s awesome music playing (Green Day - one of my favs!) and the slope is perfect. Here I am learning how to stand up on the snowboard. Think it’s easy? HAHAHAHA! Try again! All I’ve got to say is that I will NEVER have to go to the gym again. All I’m gonna do is strap my feet to a board, sit down, and try to stand up - over and over and over and over. Damn that’s good for the legs and the triceps! But bad for the butt until you figure it out A little tip - bend your friggin’ knees! Here’s me falling back onto my rear because I didn’t bend my knees:
Notice how my hands are nowhere near the ground? Um ya . . . that’s good for the wrists, but NOT so good for the rear! OUCH! 3 days later and I STILL can’t sit!
After figuring out how to stand up and traverse down the hill, you get the privilege of riding the rope back up to the top. Here I am - making it look easy!
But lo and behold, it is NOT easy! First you have to skate fast enough NEXT to the rope to be going as fast as the rope, or a little bit faster. Then you have to grab on to said rope and hold on tight while trying to keep your board straight, with only one foot strapped in. Then you have to make sure to hold the rope up high enough so others can grab on. Then, when someone else grabs on and falls, you have to hold on really tight because they pull the rope down with them, which means YOU go down with them. The lucky few can remain standing during this ordeal - I was not one of the lucky few. Face plant! I did manage to make it up the entire hill on the rope a few times - which I must say is much better than unstrapping and hiking up the hill at 10,000 feet! Oh, and remember all those clothes we were wearing? BIG mistake! Damn we were hot! At lunch I shed a layer of clothing, my coat liner, and my gloves.
While we were practicing, we saw our littlest on the same practice hill. It was pretty cool to see her on the mountian with us! She’s only 5, so she’s in a class with only 2 other kids . . . it’s spendy, but they get a whole day of pretty much private lessons, which is good for ‘em. They also do quite a bit of playing so they don’t hate the mountain their first time out Here she is using her powers to convince Steve, her instructor, that she needed to hold his hand.
Silly boys . . . he didn’t know any better and complied with pretty much her every wish Including when she used her Princess powers to convince him that she couldn’t POSSIBLY carry her own board!
Hey, if she can get away with it, who am I to say anything?
Our class was doing so well that we actually got to board down the green run twice after lunch! It was a ton of fun . . . and a BOATLOAD of work! OMG! We did get proof that we actually succeeded . . . here’s Dan
And here’s me:
I look happy don’t I! That’s cuz we went down as a group the first time and took it nice and slow. After going up the lift again (we were MUCH better at skating by now!) we were kinda on our own to get down the hill practicing. Yeah . . . about 3 minutes after starting I was PISSED! You see, when you’re 35, overweight, and out of shape, your legs tend to get tired after 4 hours of snowboarding . . . and do you know what happens when your legs get tired while you’re practicing connecting your turns on a snowboard? You forget to be patient and let the board to the work . . . and you forget to bend your knees . . . and you catch your heel side edge on the snow and FLY to the snow onto your ass at mach 1 without any time to react! Of course this means that your behind takes a beating, as does your neck and shoulders from getting WHIPLASH from the crazy fall (no, I didn’t actually get whiplash - but thank heaven for helmets!). And then you have to lay there cursing and cursing at yourself and this “stupid friggin’ sport” while some little shits on the lift above you whoop and hollar and tell you the spectacular wipe out earned you an 8 1/2 on their entertainment scale! Then you get up and try again . . . and start feelin’ good about yourself cuz you’ve connected some turns and all is well. Then you catch that heel side edge AGAIN and fall with such force that you think you might actually cause an avalanche! Then you get up lather, rinse, and repeat. And to make you feel oh so much better, while you’re laying there cursing this damned sport and wondering what the hell you were thinking, you hear this teeny tiny little voice yelling “Hi Mommy! Look at my S turns!” Then you look up, scrape the snow off your goggles, and see this . . .
Your 7-year playing follow-the-leader with his instructor - both of them zipping down the hill at mach 1 with absolutely no fear, connecting their turns with ease. Of course I did what any pissed off mother strapped to a piece of fiberglass would do - I reached in my jacket pocket and got out my camera
I must admit that I did NOT make it down the whole hill the second time. After some more great turns and 4 more spectacular wipe outs, my vision was actually a little fuzzy - like that periferal fuzzy you get when a migraine is coming on. So I unstrapped and walked down the last 1/4 of the mountain. Figured it was best for everyone if I didn’t try to board down the rest of the way totally out of control. Besides, at the end of the day, all the other beginners, including the little shits on skis and boards, are heading down, and I really didn’t want to flatten a 5-year old.
We all made it to the bottom, thanked and tipped our WONDERFUL instructors (really, all 3 of my family’s instructors were totally awesome!) and headed home. Here are our used up boards by the Jeep before we left the mountain - Keira’s was just so tiny and cute!
Her board was also snowless The results of our day? Keira’s leg muscles aren’t quite developed enough to actually get in to boarding . . . but she did well on her toe side and did have a lot of fun, which was our goal for her - to get our littlest out on the mountain and liking it. Jason got lucky and had his instructor almost all to himself! He’s in the 7-13 year old group, which can have up to 10 kids in it. But since it was a weekday, he had his instructor to himself for the first hour, and then another boy joined them. So it was a very small class, which meant they got lots of personalized instruction. The result? Jason passed levels 2 and 3! He’s now a level 4 boarder when we go back for our next lessons (there are 9 levels for lessons). Me and Dan? We had a GREAT time - a great anniversary - a great day - a great experience - definitely worth the money. We both passed levels 1 and 2 and will be in level 3 when we take our next lesson.
About Friday? Well, we both woke up a “little” sore - HAHAHAHAHA!!! My butt still hurt, my triceps were killing me from constantly pushing myself up on to the board (which yes, I did figure out how to do after lunch!), my neck and shoulders hurt from crashing to Earth. But really, what can you expect when you’re 35 and decide to take up a new sport?
We loved it . . . we had fun . . . we’ll definitely be going back!
 
We’ll miss her terribly and can’t wait to see her and Monster Grandpa again in May when we head to The Black Hills for a week to play and have fun!
 
 
 
RSS Feed