Common Mom

Dude is going through this phase where he just can’t seem to listen and he just HAS to have the last word . . . he just can’t stand not to say something - and usually, at the most WRONGEST time. He just can’t help himself. He even told me the other day that I wasn’t the boss of him . . . ummmm, last time I checked, I was the mother, I was the one making the money, and I was the one he was asking if he could go play at Hayden’s house . . . so I think that yes, actually, when it comes right down to it, I AM the boss of him! I don’t know how many times in the past month I’ve told him to shut the friggin’ door when he goes out to play or take Duma out to go potty, or when he comes back in for that matter! Every time I go downstairs after work, the back door is wide open, and nobody is outside. Or how many times I’ve told him to take her leash off when he comes back in instead of just letting her run around the house with it in her mouth. Grrrrrrr!!!

Anyhoo, with the Jeep fiasco early last week, I ended up getting the car from the airport, so I had both vehicles, and Hubby had nothing to drive home from the airport on Monday. So, the kids and I had to drive down and get him. As usual, Dude is out in the cul de sac with Duma when Keira and I get home from work/school. Here’s how the rest went . . .

Me: Hey Dude. Dad got on an earlier flight, so he’s at the airport right now. We need to go get him. Please walk Duma around out here to make sure she goes potty and poop, and then hang out outside with her until I come back. I’m just going to run my stuff inside.
Dude: OK.

So I go inside, change clothes, and use the bathroom. As I’m walking down the hall, I hear Dude and Princess in the kitchen, picking out a piece of candy. I look at him and it goes something like this . . .

Me: Dude! Why are you in here? Aren’t you supposed to be outside with Duma?
Dude: Welllllll, she went potty and poop, so we came inside.
Me: But didn’t I ask you to walk her around a bit until I got out there?
Dude: Um, I don’t know. When you’re telling me something, then you pause, then I don’t listen anymore.

Oh Dude, that was SOOO not the right thing to say!

Me: What?! Totally unacceptable. When someone is talking, you listen. Especially when they’re giving you directions. And, where’s Duma?
Dude: Downstairs by the office door.
Me: Are you sure? Because I don’t hear her collar jingling. And I’d have to guess that you probably left the back door open. Are you SURE your dog is still in the house?
Dude: Well, I think so.
Me: Well, I think you better get your butt downstairs and find out!

Turns out Duma had let herself out through a wide open door and was prancing around the backyard with her leash in her mouth. And Jason is out there trying to catch her. And I’m fuming mad because we HAVE to get going and if he would have just listened instead of turning me off after the pause, we’d be out the door to go get Hubby. I send him inside while I lure Duma into the house. Then we get in the car and I go through the events of the past 15 minutes, asking him whether he thought he made good choices or not. Then it goes like this . . .

Me: Dude, you HAVE to start listening. You left the door open, you didn’t stay outside with her, and you didn’t take her leash off.
Dude: Well, it’s a good thing I didn’t take her leash off! It helped you catch her because then you could step on her leash instead of having to try to get right up to her and grab her when she was running around the yard.
Me: Nice try, Dude. But how is it that I could step on her leash when she was running around with it in her mouth? And, if you recall, if you had stayed outside with her like I said, OR if you had even shut the door like I’ve been asking you for the past month, I wouldn’t have been outside trying to catch her! Right?
Dude: I guess so.
Me: So, since you can’t seem to listen at all lately, you’re grounded from playing with Hayden when we get home today. You need to work on your listening skills instead.
Dude: That’s fine. I don’t care. He can’t play today anyway.

Really?! Did you REALLY just say that? Did you really just tell on yourself and MAKE me have to ground you another day? Sheesh . . .

Me: Dude, why would you say that? Now you’re grounded from playing with Hayden tomorrow, too! If you had just kept your mouth shut instead of just having to have the last word, you could be playing with Hayden tomorrow after school when it’s so nice out.
Dude: Well, I was just saying I didn’t care because he couldn’t play today anyway.
Me: Well, now do you care that you can’t play with him tomorrow, as well?
Dude: Um, well, I guess . . . well, it’s just that . . . like . . . (pulling out a story) I just really wanted to do what you said and not get to play with Hayden, so I thought I’d tell the truth.

Um, what (pause for dramatic effect) EVER!

I love that my little Dude is having opinions and voicing them, but we also have to teach that lesson that there is a time and a place for it . . . talking back to your mother when you’re in trouble is not the time or the place. Arguing with your teacher about a homework assignment that he marked wrong that you’re certain you got right when in fact if you’d just listen you’d understand why he marked it wrong is not the time or the place. I just never thought I’d be going through this with my Dude . . . I am, however, CERTAIN I’ll be going through it with my Princess!

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