Comments on: Disappointing Our Kids http://commonmom.com/discipline/disappointing-our-kids/ Uncommon Sense Fri, 21 Nov 2008 21:32:58 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc By: Melanie http://commonmom.com/discipline/disappointing-our-kids/#comment-352 Melanie Thu, 30 Aug 2007 14:25:28 +0000 http://commonmom.com/discipline/disappointing-our-kids/#comment-352 When I was teaching it would drive me CRAZY when parents made empty threats to their children. I know with Brooke (my step-daughter) she knows that if I say- I mean it. If I tell her to do something she does it because she knows if she doesn't there will be a consequence- and I don't threaten- I promise. She's older now so it's not really an issue anymore, but when she was little she knew that she had better do what I told her to do. The reason I think she listens so well now is that she learned when she was little what was expected of her. Too often you see parents with out of control teenagers and they wonder what happened- when it's obvious that the child always had control. I know hard times will come with Hailey too. But she will have to face disappointments too- it's part of life. When I was teaching it would drive me CRAZY when parents made empty threats to their children. I know with Brooke (my step-daughter) she knows that if I say- I mean it. If I tell her to do something she does it because she knows if she doesn’t there will be a consequence- and I don’t threaten- I promise. She’s older now so it’s not really an issue anymore, but when she was little she knew that she had better do what I told her to do. The reason I think she listens so well now is that she learned when she was little what was expected of her. Too often you see parents with out of control teenagers and they wonder what happened- when it’s obvious that the child always had control.

I know hard times will come with Hailey too. But she will have to face disappointments too- it’s part of life.

]]> By: Jodie http://commonmom.com/discipline/disappointing-our-kids/#comment-340 Jodie Mon, 27 Aug 2007 23:37:28 +0000 http://commonmom.com/discipline/disappointing-our-kids/#comment-340 Absolutely agree . . . there's always a "thank you for being good, I really appreciate it." when they behave themselves. You have to let them know that you recognize their good behavior and appreciate it :-) And of course if we make them do something out of the ordinary, like sit through an entire wedding and reception, ride in the car for 14 hours, that kind of stuff . . . there are special rewards for good behavior - whether it's a treat when we stop at the gas station or something from the dollar store, etc. We can't expect our children to be perfect, but we do need to let them know that we appreciate them when they try really hard. Absolutely agree . . . there’s always a “thank you for being good, I really appreciate it.” when they behave themselves. You have to let them know that you recognize their good behavior and appreciate it :-) And of course if we make them do something out of the ordinary, like sit through an entire wedding and reception, ride in the car for 14 hours, that kind of stuff . . . there are special rewards for good behavior - whether it’s a treat when we stop at the gas station or something from the dollar store, etc. We can’t expect our children to be perfect, but we do need to let them know that we appreciate them when they try really hard.

]]> By: Pam http://commonmom.com/discipline/disappointing-our-kids/#comment-339 Pam Mon, 27 Aug 2007 23:24:35 +0000 http://commonmom.com/discipline/disappointing-our-kids/#comment-339 I love this post....I wish I could teach your children! I too agree that disappointment is part of life and a necessary lesson to learn. I stick with my punishment....even if I am not the popular mom at that moment. I do give negative consequences for negative choices, but I do try to reward above and beyond good choices too. I think certain things are just expected...just good manners and the way we should act....but I also think some things are extra special and deserve to be recognized. I loved every word of this post!! Thank you for writing it! I love this post….I wish I could teach your children! I too agree that disappointment is part of life and a necessary lesson to learn. I stick with my punishment….even if I am not the popular mom at that moment. I do give negative consequences for negative choices, but I do try to reward above and beyond good choices too. I think certain things are just expected…just good manners and the way we should act….but I also think some things are extra special and deserve to be recognized.

I loved every word of this post!! Thank you for writing it!

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