Apr 17th, 2008
There Are Worse Things
A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad.’ With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is 25 years older than I am. But it’s not only the passion…Dad, she’s pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter! We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don’t worry, Dad. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your son Jeff
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house. Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report card. That is in my center desk drawer.
Call me when it’s safe to come home.
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That’s funny! I’ve seen it before but it still makes me laugh…thanks for sharing!
WOW! LOL! I never saw this one! It is too funny!
Really minimizes day-to-day problems that we thought were pretty significant doesn’t it? How lucky we all truly are!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I needed a great big belly laugh today.
Oh that is CLASSIC!
I came over here from a comment you left on Don Diva (?) about the 9 year old on the subway that I agreed with. I like to jump around and find new blogs that way.
So thanks for the laugh, off to a GREAT start. I’m off to read more!
ha ha ha! That is too funny!
by the way- I want to talk to the doctor about Ashlyn…but I am sure they will tell me the same thing. I guess I am just going to have to keep washing sheets every night or so until she grows out of it….unless you have a good tip for me…..
That is hilarious! I’ve seen it before but with a daughter writing the letter. It is funny, but it’s also a reminder that a bad report card is not the end of the world.
Oh my goodness! That’s priceless. I can write now that I picked my chin up from chest. That panicked me for a moment as I am sure it would any parent…but a good reminder of how lucky I am.
HA!! I was wondering where that story was going…I wasn’t expecting the ending.