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A Special Talent

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a special talent when it comes to driving ;-)

I can Nascar up Ute Pass in an SUV like nobody else without even noticing the passenger using his very own invisible brake pedal and stearing wheel.

I can shave seconds, and sometimes minutes, off of a routine errand run when I have hours to complete it.

I can shave portions of hours off of trips to MN, just because.

But apparently my most specialist driving talent of all occurs in the school parking lot.

While going over a speedbump at the awesome speed of 10 mph, I can apply the break at just the right time so as to make ONE of the front tires briefly catch air, which in turn causes the ABS to engage, thinking I’m skidding. I can then continue driving through the Kiss and Go area, pick up my kid, and drive all the way home with the right front tire making an awful scraping noise.

Yes, I got out multiple times to look around the tire area to see if something was stuck.

I drove forward and backward and in circles.

I put the vehicle into and out of 4-wheel drive multiple times before deciding I had no clue.

I managed to call the dealership just before the stroke of 5:00 Tuesday evening and set up an appointment to get my FunRunner fixed at 8:15 a.m. Wednesday morning.

Little old female me managed to drive the FunRunner “all the way” to the dealership by myself, provide the play-by-play to the check-in guy, and sit around working on my laptop for 75 minutes while they checked out my vehicle.

I then managed to pack up my laptop and go to the service counter where they assured me that there was no need to worry because my vehicle was just fine and that I had the very special talent outlined above. “It doesn’t happen often, but clearly, it does happen.” Next time I should just “find a safe place to pull over, shut the vehicle off, then restart it to reset the confused ABS.”

Um. Thanks.

Service manager guy walks me to my vehicle, opens the door for me, and says “If HUBBY has any questions about any of this, tell him to feel free to give us a call so we can explain it to him.”

WTH?! Are you SERIOUS?!

After those two thoughts raced through my head, but not actually out my mouth, I actually laughed out loud as I shut the door and drove away.

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2 Comments

  1. Doug says:

    Good to know now that I have a car w/ ABS.

  2. Shirley says:

    I love it and I can really associate with that!!! Years ago I picked out a white Ford that I wanted at a dealership out of town. I decided to buy it locally instead to give the local Ford dealer my business. I test drove the same car at the local Ford dealer, told him I wanted his bottom price because I was making a decision today and the salesman said to me, “bring your husband in and we’ll talk about money”. WHAT!!!!!!! I was so angry I drove back out to the out of town Ford dealer and bought the very same car that very same day. I picked up the car a couple of days later and immediately drove it to the local Ford dealer, asked for the same salesman who wouldn’t talk $$’s with me two days earlier, took him outside, showed him my new car, and informed him that he lost a sale because I…I…I…I…I…was perfectly capable of buying a car on my own and did, and then got in it and drove off!!! So…I know exactly how infuriated you were. Love…Mom

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