He Set A New Record

My awesome wonderful Dude is just that – awesome and wonderful. And twelve. And a dude. So he forgets. Or just too lazy – I’ll let you decide.

Exhibit A – Belts

The kid weighs nothing. He eats constantly, but also constantly moves and is outside or doing something; therefore, he weighs nothing. His waist is still the same size as it was when he was 8. When we buy him size 12 slim pants so they are long enough, he still needs a belt. And belts this kid does own! At least a half dozen – from camo to Boy Scout uniform to recycled Mustang seat belts to black dress pant belts random belts that came in pants or shorts. While he is great at putting a belt through the loops of his pants on any given day, he is completely incapable of removing said belts from his pants before putting them in the laundry basket – or on the floor NEAR the laundry basket.

In the past, when my kiddos have put their clothes in their baskets all wadded up or inside out, I strategically wait until they are long gone playing with their friends on Sunday before I call them back and make them “unwad” their clothes so I can wash them. I’d also done this with Dude’s belts. In due time, they stopped wadding up their clothes. I also started keeping anything I found in their pockets – money, hair bands, diamnds. They stopped leaving that stuff in their pockets.

But the belts. He just could not remember the belts no matter what I did. So, I started keeping them. I told him he could have them back the next time I did laundry and didn’t find any belts in his pants (I do all laundry every Sunday). On New Year’s Eve, we were heading out to a party at some friends’ house and he’s panicking because “OMG where are all my belts!”

Um – in belt jail.

I NEED one back right now – my pants keep falling down!

Um – no. You can have them back on Sunday when I do laundry again. And I’m sure you won’t have any belts in your pants because you don’t have any more belts to put IN your pants!

So he stomps to his room – and his Boy Scout instincts kick in.

I walk into his room a few minutes later and he’s got all manner of ropes (he’s got tons from Boy Scouts) – climbing ropes, shoe laces, paracord – in all different colors and sizes. He’s sizing them around his waist. I had to giggle when he came out sporting a purple climbing rope belt for the evening Resourceful – yes! May have a learned a lesson, too

At least one would think.

Exhibit B – Phones

Yesterday, he comes into my room with the phone in his hand. He’s calling his buddy, H, to see if he can play. I said “You can go, but you better hang that phone back up or I’m taking away your cell phone!”

He asks what his cell phone has to do with the home phone.

I explained that if I can’t find MY phone when I want to use it, then he won’t have HIS phone to use at all!

He got it.

Or so I thought.

No less than 20 seconds later the door slams and he’s running down to H’s house.

I walk down the hall and the phone is sitting ON THE COUNTER NEXT TO THE PHONE HOLDER!

Yes, seriously.

So I marched myself down to H’s house with a smirk on my face. H’s mom answers and asks if I need Dude. I said “No, I just need his phone.” She says “That’s an interesting request!” And we both smile

I walk down the hall and take Dude’s phone – ha asks why and I said “Dude! You set some kind of new record! I told you if you didn’t hang up the phone I’d take your phone and it took you no more than 20 seconds to NOT hang up the phone!” He smiled and handed over his phone, grumbling. H’s Mom and Dad both laughed and said “Oh, that is SOOOOO good!”

Dude will get his phone back when he proves he can hang up the home phone. Since nobody calls him on the home phone, it might take a while.

Hopefully, this time he’ll learn a lesson!

Be Sociable, Share!

•